The Murphy clan is in love with me

Yes, you are reading it right; the Murphy clan is in love with me. Now it is quite one thing to have Murphy pop-up out of nowhere in your mind’s eye and gleefully chuckle, “Ahoy! Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” And I guess it is also quite normal with some people, when Murphy, depending on the level of things going wrong, would do a merry jig, a pirouette, and even a yippe-do somersault, if he thought you were the new–age poster boy/girl of his famous Law. But having the whole of his clan drop in to visit me on the same day, within a matter of few minutes, and all of them doing a perfectly synchronized ballet dance to celebrate *the* Murphy’s law taking place in such style, is altogether another thing. I am sure their synchronized ballet would have put the best of Russian ballerinas to shame. This was after all a celebratory dance. And as they say, when you are happy inside, it shows in whatever you do.

Right. So this is how the Murphy clan decided to descend upon me. Happened a few days ago. I was reeling with a bad case of head-ache, and so decided to check my office kitchen for some chocolate powder to make myself a cup of hot choco drink. But turned out that we only had coffee there. I am not a big fan of coffee. If it were a mug of Mom-made-Bru-coffee, I would have had a few sips of that. But this was just black coffee – strong , bitter and dark. I retraced my steps, rubbing my index finger and thumb on my temple, mumbling something to myself. Somehow I then find myself in front of the vending machine for my imminently-essential dose of chocolate. The following is what transpired there upon:

In my inebriated state of mind, I had forgotten to bring my wallet along, and now had to make do with whatever little change that I had on me. So I insert two 100 Won coins into the machine, and press on the ‘HOT CHOCO’ slot and wait to lay my hands on my elixir of life. But quite unbeknownst to me, Murphy was getting ready to pay me a visit in all his grand regalia – pomp and show. I imagine him doing a merry “Ho, Ho, Ho” ala Santa Claus, as soon as I put in my coins into the machine, and then holler to his family,

“Hey, Mom, Pop, Bro, Sis, Tommy...comeon you all. Let’s go drive this woman up the wall.”

And then this is what they would have replied,

“Yes, yes, yes. Woof, woof, woof.”

So I am waiting for the paper cup to drop down and the hot choco to pour into it for some 30 seconds now. Now nine times out of ten, I am a patient person. But this just happened to be the tenth instance, so I did what I could do best with a throbbing headache - I banged on the vending machine. With all my might. It was only a few seconds later that I realised that it wasn’t a test of might to being with. So I mutter something not so nice under my breath, and proceed to dig out some more coins from my pocket.

This is where, Murphy would have remarked with a smirk on his face,

“Goodie, good. Having fun, peeps?”

And the peeps in question would have responded,

“Yes, yes, yes. Woof, woof, woof.”

So I see that I have quite some amount of change on me, and proceed to insert another two 100 Won coins into the machine, after it shamelessly swallowed the earlier two without as much as a burp. And voila! As soon as the second coin fell down with that characteristic ‘clink’ I hear my eagerly awaited hot choco oozing out.

“Ha! Not so soon, my darling girl,” Murphy must have said at that instant. Because when I open that flip door to retrieve my drink, I see with my eyes wide open that the liquid is actually pouring straight down into the machine’s sink. By some stroke of convoluted workmanship, there was no paper cup released to hold this much-craved and much-needed drink, now going waste. The best thing for me to do at that time was to sigh, and I did just that. And since I do things the best I can, I sighed a little longer than would have been necessary, as though to will the vending machine into a serious bout of ignominy at that deed of its.

But no such luck, for I could distinctly hear Murphy say to his clan now,

“Yay, peeps! Do we rock or what?”

And I swear I heard the over-enthusiastic clan reply in unison,

“Yes, yes, yes. Woof, woof, woof.”

But now with an open battle waging between me and the Murphy clan, I could not accept defeat like a coward, head ache or no headache. I had to uphold the respectability of my ancestors. What was a mere headache after all in the face of the pride of my forefathers? I couldn’t afford to let them down, could I?

So now I decide to make myself 200 Won poorer, and do the coin insertion act on auto-pilot. I suspect I also sent up a prayer to request God to give me the strength to fight this Murphy clan. And wonder of wonders…the prayer seemed to be working. I hear the paper cup drop down, and then the brown liquid flow down into it.
“Ha! The game is over you Murphys,” I snort to them with all the disdain I could muster.
But alas! Murphy is a seasoned pro.

“What say, peeps? Shall I make her eat her words back, this very instant?”

I hear him retort. And yeah, you know by now what the peeps would have eagerly said. Yes, they all went,

“Yes, yes, yes. Woof, woof, woof.”

... To be continued.